Cathy the Librarian

I just finished up listening to Me Talk Pretty One Day. This is both very interesting and bizarre. How to describe this book? David talks about his family, friends and about moving to France with his boyfriend. He talks about growing up and knowing he was different. He didn’t like sports, beating people up or doing other manly things. He’d rather bake banana bread and singing jingles in the voice of singer Billie Holiday. The title of the book stems from David’s lisp. A speech therapist tries to “correct” his problems with pronouncing s. He eventually learns to use words without the letter s in them, sometimes having to be extrememely creative in what he was saying.

He also talked about how he wanted to be an artist, and how he needed to use drugs in order to do so. It seems sad to be in such a state, and reading it, I can’t imagine how no one in his family noticed his abuse.

Eventually, he cleans himself up and falls for a guy named Huey. They move to France, and much of the later half of the book discusses his inability to communicate with the French. He take French classes, but it sounds like they don’t help too much either. It makes for quite the interesting story however.

I’m listening to Dress Your Family in Courdoroy and Denim now. Its another really interesting book, and I’m happy that I picked them up at the Ogden’s Farmer Library when I was consoling Roberta (teen services librarian) about the terrible anime selection that ADV Advocates had given us for the month.

There were TONS of boobies that month… don’t they know that public librarians are trying to show these? One of the clerks asked me if I showed that kind of disgusting pornography at my library. Of course she didn’t exactly say it like that, but I knew she didn’t like it, and I’m pretty sure that she was sizing me up with her eyes.

I keep thinking that I should write them an email. The teen librarian from one of the Irondequoit libraries took me aside at a program we were both involved in and asked me if they were all like that. I told her that USUALLY there were some save episodes to show, but you really have to be careful. Try to have a backup.

Anyway, I love David Sedaris now. Me Talk Happy Now!

I just finished the Young Merlin series by Jane Yolen, and LOVED IT! Unfortunately, its only a trilogy. I was hoping that the cover was lying and that she changed her mind and wrote more in the series. There are three books (it is a trilogy after all). Here they are:
1) Passager
2) Hobby
3) Merlin

In Passager, the book starts with a small boy of about seven or eight years who has been trying to survive in the woods for about a year on his own. He sleeps in trees so that the wild dogs don’t attack him. He’s malnurished because all he eats are berries and small fish. His clothes became tattered and fell off long ago. One day he spots a man in the forest, and listening him speak, he begins to recognize words. He follows the man to his home and after much work, the little boy begins to consider the man and his family his own.

In Hobby, things have happened that separate him from his new family. He meets up with a magician and his wife and upon finding out that the boy’s dreams have a habit of coming true, they find ways of using the boy to make money. After making a couple of dire predictions, he is separated from the couple.

In Merlin, the boy goes back into the woods. He has over the four years since leaving the forest, lost some of his ability to survive alone. After being attacked by dogs, he is saved by a wild man. After the wild man leaves, Merlin follows him at a distance, until they reach a clearing and Merlin sees a large group of other wild people. They find out that Merlin has profetic dreams and they cage him up. His only friend is a small boy named Cub, who we eventually find out is the future King Arthur.

I love the Authurian style fantasy. There is a little bit of fantasy, a little bit of history. I highly suggest this to anyone who is at a loss for things to read this summer. It is both serious and lighthearted.

First let me say I love and hate technology. I have a PDA and I use a Yahoo calendar. Unfortunately sometimes when I sync them up, I lose vital information. Today was one of those days.

I had been looking forward to this program, Gamer’s @ Your Library, which was offered through this wonderful organization RRLC (Rochester Regional Library Council). They offer lots of great programs on all sorts of topics for public and school librarians as well as administrators and others. So I heard about this program, and I thought “Great! Another way to connect with the teens!” Weeks went by and I forgot about the program.

Then I get an email from my friend Molly and she mentions that there is a program at RRLC today. I frantically look at both my PDA and my Yahoo calendar. Nothing. Then I look at my RRLC account. Nothing. Then I check out a schedule that I had given one of my co-workers. Damnit! It WAS today! So I called RRLC and they said hurry up and get here!

Sally gave me the okay to leave (she is a very awesome boss after all) and I raced as quickly as I could to Fairport. Its not exactly a ten minute drive, but I got there. In Fairport, I couldn’t figure out where the building was. I was about an hour and a half late, but I got there with a couple hours left in the program.

Unfortunately, everything was A LOT more basic than I thought it was going to be. I knew a lot of what he talked about. Color me disappointed. He went over the very basic types of games, as well as a couple of each style. I watch a porgram called XPlay on G4 TV, which reviews a lot of games and goes over the different styles. Then there was a lunch break (so I got a chance to gab with other librarians. Yippee!) Afterwards we got a chance to play all the games. We played the Game Cube, Mario Brothers version of DDR which was TERRIBLE! I also played a racing game on the Game Cube and some card games. Then I signed up for Runescape. It was interesting, but I can’t imagine playing it for hours on end, but it was cute. Someone asked about Yugioh, and he said not to have those kinds of programs at your library because fights can break out. I have Yugioh at the library EVERY WEEK and so far not one fight has erupted. Everyone is extremely polite and well mannered.
In the end, I was glad for the chance to get involved with other librarians, but the class wasn’t worth it.

I work in Hilton New York, which is like every other small village. It’s small. I grew up five minutes from downtown Rochester, so if my mom was off and we wanted to do something in the summer, there were museums we could go to or Highland Park. There was stuff we could do.

Apparently, there is NOTHING to do in Hilton except:

1. Hang out in the library complaining there is nothing to do and when given things to do by the librarian such as:
a. crossword puzzles
b. regular puzzles
c. chess/cards/checkers
d. magazines
e. comic books
f. (or, god forbid) BOOKS!
They still say that they’re bored and that reading hurts their eyes. Maybe they should consider glasses.

2. Use the Internet ALL DAY with every family member’s card because we have time out software that only allows people to use the Internet for 90 minutes, until we have to tell them to get off because they’ve been on the computer for six hours and someone else might like to use it.

3. Throw books at eachother in the teen area.

4. Swear at eachother loud enough so that the kids can hear, but not loud enough for us to hear at the front desk.

5. Call me cunt under their breath so that I know they said it, but not loud enough that I know WHO said it.

6. Toss their bikes right at the door so that other people can’t get into the library.

7. Set fires, smoke, spray graffiti and make out in the alleyway between the library and the dentist office or right in the doorway of the staff entrance to the library.

8. Walk sneakily into the non-fiction section so they can look at the Joy of Sex or whatever other sex books we have and then leave them open so the kids can see them.

9. Steal the little creamers from Wilson Farms across the street and throw them against the floor in the entry way of the library so that they explode.

10. Hang out ALL day in the library, but NEVER come to any of my programs.

Hmm. I’m going to stop there before I get my blood pressure up, plus I like lists that go from one to ten.

I think it would be great if you give me ten reasons why you can’t wait for September love teenagers.

We watched a movie on Sunday. It was a very disurbing and terrifying movie called From Beyond. The lead in the movie was Jeffrey Combs, who was in Reanimator and lots of other terrible… ooops, I mean wonderful movies.

In this movie, he plays a scientist who’s helping a mad sadistic man and yet brilliant scientist. He believes that you can somehow stimulate the pineal gland (sixth sense) and somehow intensify your life. They get it to work and all hell breaks loose.

I won’t go into details, but Jeffrey Combs ends up having something that looks like a male phallis coming out of his forehead and he starts sucking brains  out of people’s eye sockets…

If you like horror and disgusting depravity you will definately like this movie.

I have a new obsession. (hmm, that looked weird, but its spelled right… I think that there should be a list of weird words that you think are spelled wrong, but aren’t…)

ANYway, the new obsession is… felting purses. If you’ve read the blog before, you already know about the purse insanity. Now add in

1) the relaxation of crocheting
2) the joy of picking the colors of the yarn
3) the happy surprise of felting the bag
4) the ecstasy (another weird word) of having a new bag to lug around

I thought it was going to be hard, but after about five calls to one of my co-workers (on a Sunday no less) I finally finished my first bag.

This is how my weekend went:

Thursday – bought the yarn after finding out the wool yarn I did buy was only 20% wool and 80% acryllic… that’s called “pretend wool”, which means that it won’t felt. I found out it was on sale and danced the happy dance of joy, which is similar to the pee-pee dance, only happy.
Friday – worked, then crocheted throughout a free concert that we went to with Jeff’s sister and her family. I also chased my nieces, played a tamborine, ate a cheese burger, danced and tickled my nieces.
Saturday -  crocheted most of the day, except when we went grocery shopping so I could buy:

a) fruit roll ups
b) twinkies
3) rice krispie treats
4) gummy worms

And no its not because I’m pregnant or anything. We made candy sushi today in anime group. It was gross and yummy all at once.

Sunday – we went to breakfast with the Lotus Group or “Loony” then I crocheted endlessly, until I umm… ended. I finished Sunday evening, forgetting to do everything (go to the bathroom, eat food… you get the idea). Then I threw it in the washing machine to felt and we watched a movie. More on that in the next post.

I love my bag, and I’m going to make a little purse out of the leftover yarn. Yippee!

(I will post pictures soon.)

**Update**
Jeff informed me that bananas is spelled B-AN-AN-AS (in the words of Gwen Stephani) not banannas. Doh!… and double DOH now I have the song stuck in my head!

I have now changed them to the proper spelling.

—

This is shameful. Jack will get older and ask me (hmm, he is a boy, maybe he won’t) “Mommy where is my baby book?” I’ll look in those deep blue eyes and say “What baby book?”

My mother-in-law recently gave us Jeff’s baby book. OH MY GAWD! She really is an amazing woman. She kept track of EVERYTHING. Every new food, every step, every new word. I think she even kept track of his BMs (as my grandmother would say) when he started on a new food.

Umm. I’m really sorry Jack, but I haven’t done that. I do recognize how very adorable and fun to be with you are, so here are some fun facts about you.

1) I know that you are going to be a great kid because you are so easy going and quick with a giggle.

2) You have the most adorable laugh and hearing one of us laugh usually gets you laughing.

3) You love the water and splashing in the bathtub, and would spend the whole day in there if you didn’t wrinkle up like a prune.

4) You love making a mess of your food and rubbing it in your face and hair. Personally, I think that its so you get another bath.

5) People have told me that you should be a baby model. I agree, but I could never do that to you.

6) One of the ladies at church told me that when you were in the nursery, you very clearly said banana. Of course now you won’t do it when I ask.

7) Aunt Jenny thinks that you have said her name a couple of times… I’ll let her continue to think that.

8) Your favorite toys aren’t really “toys”. You absolutely love flipping the pages of your board books.

9) Your favorite foods are (in order of importance)

a) bananas – probably makes sense that your first word would be this.
b) graham crackers – grandma has them in a special container and you scream whenever she goes near it.
c) yogurt (key lime flavor) – you literally suck down yogurt
d) pretzel sticks – you scream bloody murder when you see the bag, and on several occasions, you have eaten them double fisted. Daddy doesn’t like when you eat them because you liquify the pretzel and half of it ends up all over the place.
e) cookies – everyone likes cookies, and you are one of those everyones (hmm…)

10) You like giving hugs and on several occasions tried to give me an open mouth kiss on the nose. Adorable and icky at the same time.

11) You make sweet little chirpy noises when you talk… they probably aren’t really “chirpy”, but I don’t know how else to describe them.

12) You put your hand up to your mouth move it back and forth repeatedly so that you can make noises.

13) You go right to sleep when I put you to bed.

14) Whenever you hear music, you feel compelled to dance.

15) You love being spun around in circles when someone is holding you tight. If you aren’t being held tight enough, you hold on to the swinger.

16) You love slides, but hate swings.

17) You love going out so that you can people watch or flirt with the ladies.

18) You know how to use a straw.

19) You like lunging yourself on the cat so you can use her as a pillow.

20) You can walk. YOU CAN WALK! You took your first steps yesterday, and now you’re walking like a real person! It really is amazing to think how fast you’ve grown. Sone you’ll be married with children of your own.
Frightening.

Sigh. Summer is here and I can’t wait for fall. Not only is fall my favorite time of year, but the summer is way too hot.

Oh and there are kids and teens everywhere! They just don’t know what to do with themselves, so they make out in the back of the stacks (teens), race in between the shelves (kids), set fires and spray paint the building (teens), scream at the top of their lungs when their sister/brother beats them up (kids), and generally run amok (everybody).

There are also some good things though. Some of them are doing the summer reading program, and try to read as much as they can. When I called the kids/teens that won prizes on Friday, a couple of them started screaming for joy. On of the teens came to the library within five minutes of finding out, and one of the kids within the half hour. That makes me happy.

I have a teen writing group, and at my first meeting two teens showed up! That’s great considering I expected none. We talked about the things that we liked to write, and then we created a character. Each of us (including me) are going to write a story about the girl and then bring it to the group at our next meeting.

Finally on Friday, I had a princess/knight tea party. This was fabulous! Everyone got dressed up, including our one knight and looked great. I even got dressed up in my wedding crinoline, a deep purple bride’s maid dress I had, and a realistic wig (since my hair is too short to be a princess’). I announced all the princesses (and knight) as they came into the room. Our youngest was a year and a half and our oldest was eight. Everyone had a blast. Some of them even tried the tea. I asked everyone to bring a tea cup and most did. We ate little sandwiches and little cookies, and we did a couple of crafts. Some of the girls had so much fun, they gave me a hug at the end. I know this will be the highlight of my summer. It was the cutest thing I’ve ever done.

If I didn’t like the kids and teens so much, I’d have to say that I CANNOT wait until September. Fortunately, I do like them, so I’m safe.

I’ve been trying to get them to sign up for summer reading, and its like pulling teeth. One five year old even started crying and sobbing out loud. “Mommy, don’t make me!”, over and over. I felt terrible. So then I started telling her about the books she could read, like “Winchell Cuts the Cheese”, “Magdelina Catelina Hoopensteiner Wallendiner Hogan Logan Bogan Was Her Name”, “Walter the Farting Dog”, “Stinky Smelly Feet” and “The Truth about Poop”. By the time she left, she was laughing out loud, and her mom looked slightly green.

I don’t know why kids dread reading so much. I try and put out great fun and COMPLETELY uneducational books out there for them, but they still don’t want to read.

What DOES get them to read however, is the giant candy bars and slices of pizza the size of their heads that I’m giving away as prizes.

I have TONS of programs for the kids and teens.

For the kids:

Throughout the Summer

Kids Reading Program
June 26^th through August 4^th
Two groups: for ages 4 – 8 and 9 – 12
Come in and sign up!

Kids Knit (or crochet)
beginning July 6 at 4 pm
Every other Thursday, grades 4 – 8
No experience is necessary!

Afternoon Movies for kids
beginning July 3 at 1 pm
G rated movie every other Monday through July 31
Bring snacks, your favorite blanket and stuffed animal

Elementary Book Group
4^th Friday in July & August @ 12 pm
Attention kids in grades 3 – 6, join us for pizza and discussion!
Sign up so we have enough pizza for you.
July – read an adventure of your choosing
August – read a fantasy of your choosing

Special Programs

Injest with Nels Cremean
July 5 at 2 pm for all ages
“In Jest,” blends clean comedy, flying objects, acts of balance, absurd theatrics, and assorted fruits and vegetables.

Animal Draw with Mary Beth Dolan!
June 29 at 2 pm, Ages 5 and up and limited to 25 kids.
A funny class for younger artists!
Learn how to draw the faces and bodies of several kinds of animals.
This program includes a cool take-home workbook.

Princesses and Princes Tea Party
June 30 at 12 pm, for all ages. Space is limited.
Let us know if you have any food allergies.
Join us for a special tea party with dainty sandwiches and peppermint tea!
Make sure to bring your own tea cup.
The librarian will be in her nicest dress, and you should too!

Pirate Week

Pirate Story Time
July 11 at 10:30 – 11:00 am for ages 3 – 5
Get ready to join a group of scurvy pirates on the ship
S.S. Reads-a-lot for lots of swashbuckling fun!

Pirate Craft
July 12 at 1 pm for ages 5 and up
Heave ho and a bottle of glue is all you need to make this craft.
Space is limited, so sign up in advance!

Pirate Movie
July 13 at 1 pm
There be pirates in this G rated movie!
Bring snacks, your favorite blanket and stuffed animal.

Treasure Hunt for Kids
July 14 between 10:30 – 4:30 pm
How well do you know your library?

Princess (but Princes are welcome too) Week

Princess Story Time
July 25 at 10:30 – 11 am for ages 3 – 5
By Royal Proclamation, you are invited to listen
to wonderful stories about princesses and princes.

Princess Craft
July 26 at 1 pm ages 5 and up
You’ll be making something so fabulous; you’ll have to wear sunglasses to look at it, but don’t worry guys we’ve got you covered too.
Space is limited, so sign up in advance!

Princess Movie
July 13 at 1 pm
Which princess do you think it could be in this G rated film?
Bring snacks, your favorite blanket and find out!

Princess Ball
July 28 at 2 pm for ALL AGES!
Party on down in you’re most glamorous duds and don’t forget all your jewels!

Closing Week

Act Like a Pirate Day
August 9 all day long!
Come in any time that day, dress like a pirate, see the pirates at the library and learn how to talk like a pirate! ARR!

End of the Summer Reading Pizza Party
August 11
For all kids who participated in the program!
Pizza and games at 12 pm
Accordion Pat at 1 pm

For the Teens:

Okay so I complain. I really shouldn’t because I put all of this on myself. I want to do the programs myself, really. Then I get to really interact with the kids/teens and they get to know me. Plus I can do more programs because I spend a lot less money on them.

Oh well, I guess they’ll just have to cart my remains away in a wheelbarrow at the end of the summer.

Of course in the words of Monty Python, who sum it up best in their movie , Monty Python and the Holy Grail: (BTW, I know its long, but its funny)

The Dead Collector: Bring out yer dead.
[a man puts a body on the cart]
Large Man with Dead Body: Here’s one.
The Dead Collector: That’ll be ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t: I’m not dead.
The Dead Collector: What?
Large Man with Dead Body: Nothing. There’s your ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t: I’m not dead.
The Dead Collector: ‘Ere, he says he’s not dead.
Large Man with Dead Body: Yes he is.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t: I’m not.
The Dead Collector: He isn’t.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, he will be soon, he’s very ill.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t: I’m getting better.
Large Man with Dead Body: No you’re not, you’ll be stone dead in a moment.
The Dead Collector: Well, I can’t take him like that. It’s against regulations.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t: I don’t want to go on the cart.
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, don’t be such a baby.
The Dead Collector: I can’t take him.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t: I feel fine.
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, do me a favor.
The Dead Collector: I can’t.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won’t be long.
The Dead Collector: I promised I’d be at the Robinsons’. They’ve lost nine today.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, when’s your next round?
The Dead Collector: Thursday.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t: I think I’ll go for a walk.
Large Man with Dead Body: You’re not fooling anyone, you know. Isn’t there anything you could do?
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t: I feel happy. I feel happy.
[the Dead Collector glances up and down the street furtively, then silences the Body with his a whack of his club]
Large Man with Dead Body: Ah, thank you very much.
The Dead Collector: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
Large Man with Dead Body: Right.

Tomorrow (hopefully): A rant about teens who hang outside the library in order to:

1. write graffiti on the walls
2. set fires next to the library
3. smoke (god only knows what)
4. make babies in the alley between the library and the next building

Me!

I can check out what sites link to me, and I just noticed that the School Library Journal website has linked to me! Well if that doesn’t encourage me to update my blog more often, I don’t know what will.