Cathy the Librarian

Erie Canal Pathfinder

Okay, so I am. But, one of the most important things in the whole world for me, besides a loving husband and happy baby are friends. I like to have people to talk to, to hang out with and drink coffee or to do all those stupid things that are silly when you do them alone, but fun if you do with with a couple of other girls. It gets worse because all around me (maybe because I’m looking for it) I see people who have a really tight group of friends, and I get to watch from the sidelines.

I think that a little of this stems from seeing how my parents don’t have many friends and they really only spend time with eachother. I think that if something should happen to one of them (if one of them should die) and not the other, it will be ALOT more devistating than if they had a close group of friends. I love Jeff with all my heart, but I would like to have the option of someone else’s shoulder to cry on. Please don’t get the wrong idea, I do have friends, I’m not a total outcast. But it always feels like there’s a distance between us. They don’t see the world the way I do. Those people that I think I do see a connection with… we aren’t all that close and I don’t want to force myself upon them. Then I’d be a total tool. Life can be so very complicated, but its so simple. AIGH!

…On an interesting and sad side note, I know that we decided that we were giving Buster up, but it was still strange to see that he was available on the website. It made the whole thing seem more real and depressing. I think its better for everyone involved that Buster is going to a new home, but I still feel weird and horrible.

I read Roald Dahl books when I was younger, but I didn’t realize how much I loved this man until I became an adult. I loved the BFG, and of course Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and James and the Giant Peach. Upon looking at the list of the most often challenged/banned books in America from 1990-2000, I saw that #27 was The Witches. Okay, so the book is called “Witches”, but the witches themselves aren’t even really human. At the very beinning of the book, Dahl differentiates them from people by saying that they don’t have toes. Dahl also makes witches bad creatures that need to be disposed of. You really don’t feel any sympathy for the witches, in fact you really hope that the main characters do defeat the witches. Of course, if you don’t like the idea of magic, good or bad, you still won’t be pleased with this book. Since this is my personal blog, I will say that I don’t think that there’s anything so horrible as using your imagination in order to allow you to be a more creative individual. Well at least in my humble opinion.

(Damnit! My computer died and I lost my post. Now I have to remember what the heck I was writing. Feh)
Once a month all the j librarians in my library system meet for “discussion”. I try to keep up, but mostly I like to listen to them spout their beautiful and maniacal mouth music. Today, I was lucky enough to sit near the uber-librarian, Adrienne, who has a blog of her own. I think that at once point, I decided that I would much rather live vicariously through her blog than write in my own, disappointing blog (and in turn, life.) Anywho, it turns out that sometimes she looks at my blog. Needless to say, she was a little disappointed in me because I hadn’t posted anything since coming back from California. I did try though! Last night I stared at my computer, asking it what there was that I could write about my trivial and boring life… Obviously, by the lack of a post last night, my computer was little help. I’ve recently been physically sick and thinking that compared to all those poor souls in New Orleans, I’ve got nothing to complain about. I’d actually been meaning to muse about my personal feelings towards New Orleans, but I haven’t decided how to put my thoughts together. (Don’t worry Adrienne, there will be a post!) I’d also thought that maybe I’d write about how I wanted to buy a Play Station, two dance pads and Dance Dance Revolution for the library.

All those thoughts went out the window, when I came home and smelled poop (so strong that I could smell it immediately, even though I’ve got a cold and can’t smell a damned thing).

We put our dog Buster in his crate when we aren’t at home, because if we don’t, he has a tendency to eat books, Jack’s clothes and toys, video tapes and DVDs, or anything else he can get his lips around. At first we tried to let him stay out on his own, because we thought it might be a little cruel, but our greyhound group explained to us that they spend quite a bit of time in their crates, and feel safest in their crate. Please try telling that to Buster. He hides upstairs when we try and get him to go in his crate. He howls when we are coming home. He is not a happy dog, one way or another.
This is where the poop comes in, he has no qualms about pooping and peeing in his crate. This is a weird thing because it would be like you pooping (on purpose!) in your bed. So tonight, we came home and he had pooped and peed in his crate, then sat in it and got the poop nice and deep into his back paws. I really don’t know anymore.
After all this, plus having Jack who is only about 6 months old, plus a cat that likes to vomit everywhere, plus having a job that causes me to run about like a chicken with its head cut off quite a bit, I don’t know if I can handle the whole dog thing. I really don’t know if Jeff and I have a life that supports a dog, especially such a high-maintenance drama queen kind of dog such as we have. I’m really at the point where I think we need to give him up back to the group, where he can go to a family that deserves him more. Unfortunately, part of me is really concerned with what other people think of us. I know it seems pretty shallow, but I don’t want people to think that I’m shit. But then, I really want him to be somewhere he would be happy. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO FREAKING DO! We’ve already agreed that we are never ever getting another dog, but other than that… I’m sad. Now he cringes and whines when we try and pet him, plus he puts his tail between his legs ALL THE TIME (like now).
OKAY explain this to me. He poops in his crate when we aren’t home. This says to me that he DOESN’T like his crate. Then, when we’re home, he keeps going into his crate. This says to me that he DOES like his crate. ARGH! What the hell!
Cats, I understand. They come to you when they want to be petted or want food. They piss in front of the litter box when they want the litterbox cleaned. Thats about it. Dogs, I don’t understand. I think that they might be too complex for me.
Okay, Adrienne. You wanted me to post in my blog. PLEASE HELP ME! I promise that my next post will be happier… or at least more entertaining.

Anorexia Bracelets Reveal Secret Society

Pro-Ana Links

I just heard about this at work today. There are special bracelets you can wear to let other anorexic people know who you are. I mean wouldn’t people know by looking that you’re anorexic? I mean skinny is one thing, but starvation is quite another. Upon searching deeper, there is a whole pro-anorexia internet society out there. They don’t feel that they have a mental issue that needs treatment, and are quite happy the way they are. After reading site after site, I just felt sad for them.

I would like to have more control over my life. Right now I feel so completely overwhelmed with baby, summer reading, baby and my completely unorganized house. I deal with this by making lists. Hundreds and hundreds of lists. Unfortunately it doesn’t work at all. Fortunately there are others like me (including one lady st work).

Faster than Kudzu

On a slightly different note… watch out for the sex bracelets! Different colors mean different sexual favors. Yippie!

Sex Bracelets

In conclusion, Jack has been sucking on my hand this whole time and its completely numb and soggy.

Thank you.

My husband has a bulletin board, and someone posted a link to this guy who wants to be our next mayor of Rochester. I was personally flabbergasted. I mean, GAWD! Who does this guy think he is? I grew up in the city, and I think that if he were to try and enforce some of these ideas of his… well lets say its just stupifying.
I shall give you some examples:

Education:

Crime:

Declare an end to the War on Drugs in Rochester. It’s a failure. Here’s how to start reducing the harms caused by drugs and help make our streets safe again:

1. Create a 25% tax on all marijuana transactions within the city. Increase the tax to 50% on all transactions with non-city residents. Require $500 annual licenses for all marijuana producers. Only arrest those who fail to pay the fees.

2. Instruct city police officers to actively oppose federal or state interference. If necessary, organize militias of city residents for protection from federal or state interference.

3. Use the re-allocated police resources to tackle violent crime.

Let’s see, you’re letting kids know that, Hey! It’s okay to smoke pot as long as you pay your pot tax, and if you live in the suburbs, you deserve to pay even more taxes! Oh yeah, and lets start a militia, so that we use our guns to keep out all those evil federal and state personnel by shooting them. They they’re just interferring in our pot smoking.

Fiscal:

Rochester must recognize that victimless crimes are less harmful when taxed and regulated.

• Require all sex workers to register with the city and submit a $500 annual license fee. This fee will be applied towards health care for the local sex industry as well as general revenue.

• Say no to taxation without representation and terminate all collection of county, state and federal taxes not approved by the city. This explicitly precludes collection of taxes destined for New York City.

Oh good. Prostitution is legal now, as long as they pay their fee. So all those kids going downtown to catch the bus to school can see prostitutes in action. Why can’t you send these women to a trade school so that they can learn something useful and give them a sense of pride and accomplishment?

Last time I checked, county, state and federal officials were elected representitives of the people. Those people that we elect to run our government have been chosen to represent our ideals. We have given them the right to make use of our taxes in the best way they see fit to operate the city, state etc.

Technology:

Rochester needs to push forward further its position as leader in the still evolving digital information technology revolution.

1. Create a secure citywide hi-speed wireless network for use free of charge by all city residents.

2. Replace all city computer systems running Microsoft Windows and other proprietary operating systems with free and open source alternatives like the GNU/Linux operating system. Draft students from area universities to first assist city government officials in the process, and then keep them in the loop as the changes are rolled out to city schools. Provide them with housing incentives to stay and work in the city upon graduation.

I don’t even want to think how expensive and immensly impossible it would be to get high-speed internet to all city residents. Would you also be providing computers, since a vast majority of them can’t afford to buy computers. (I would know this because they all come into the public libraries to use the internet).

I don’t want to imagine moving from Microsoft Windows to another operating system. All the training involved and trying to find compatible programs that can replace currently used ones. Plus some of the city, town and county systems are interconnected (at least from my experience working at the library). The cost in manhours would be staggering.

This guy mentions somewhere in his platform that we should offer abandoned houses to people under 21 and college students under 30. I’m thinking that many of the abandoned houses in the city are not in any shape to be lived in, let alone by young people that can’t afford the costs for improvements.

He also wants to charge suburban residents 10% more to use the ferry, and he wants to toll suburban residents to use the highways.

I’m thinking that this guy really hates people who live in the suburbs. I really don’t know what his beef is, but I wish he’d stop acting like us non-city dwellers are spawns of satan or something.

Anyway, I highly recommend reading his site. I found it insiteful and frightening.

Okay, so I didn’t find this site myself (thanks Adrienne), but I found myself so utterly repulsed, that I needed to share it with those unfortunate enough to fall upon my blog. I apologize now. These are truly repulsive. So repulsive that I need to say repulsive a few more times.
I am so scared by these recipes that I really can’t think of anything else to say, so I won’t. Well I take that back. I will say that food has taken on a whole new meaning for me, and its not pretty.

For years I have had an irrational fear of escalators, and I thought that I was all alone in this. I have no idea how it started, but for years, even looking at an escalator I would get sweaty and my hands would get clammy, my heart starts racing and I start freaking out. It really drives my husband crazy, because sometimes we have to go out of our way so I don’t have to go on the escalator.
I read an article in the New York City News and found out that my fears aren’t unwarranted. At a movie theater, one kid’s pants caught in the escalator and the escalator was stopped. The kids behind fell “like dominoes” and they toppled down on one another. Some of the kids had to go to the hospital.
Okay okay, I know its still crazy, but I really don’t know what to do! Just because I know its crazy doesn’t mean that I know how to stop from being afraid of using the escalator.
Travelling is interesting. In California, the Universal Studios has a multi-story escalator that horrified me and there wasn’t an elevator alternative. There was a handicap van that took you down to the lower lot. It was completely embarrassing, but because I have this completely irrational fear, I had to use the handicap access. It completely embarrasses me even to talk about it, but I guess this is just a part of life, so I might as well share.
BTW I just found out that the world’s longest escalator is in Hong Kong. It’s called the Central-Mid-levels escalator.

PBS was in danger of losing all its funding recently. That would mean no more Sesame Street, Cailou, Nova or This Old House. There would be no more NPR or my local PBS station in Rochester NY, WXXI. I listen to the WXXI radio station as I’m falling asleep every night. I want my son to have nice educational programs to watch, such as Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers, whic I grew up on. He wouldn’t have the radio station, which is the only one in Rochester that plays classical music, to use as background music when he’s dancing around in the living room like my sisters and I did when we were younger. As a kid with both parents working full time, PBS was something we had when we couldn’t go outside or we didn’t want to play inside. People have been saying that PBS is biased and leans to the left, but I don’t really think that Barney, Mr Rogers and Big Bird had some secret agenda. Luckily, through places like MoveOn.org the word has gotten out and over a million people added their signatures to a petition to restore funding. Granted, on look at the website and you’ll know that MoveOn.org hates our current president and obviously pretty liberal thinking, I don’t think that PBS had that intention.

In closing, it was really freaking hot today! According to the local newspaper it only got up to 92… but I think it was hotter than that.

Oh well, I must be going. My baby is giggling!

Every morning I wake up to Howard Stern. I know I know, he’s a pig, but sometimes he’s a funny pig! Anywho. He keeps talking about how the FCC and some congresspeople (an article for enlightenment) are trying to increase the fines for DJs on public radio for indecency. They also want to include satellite radio and cable tv in this travesty. I thought that I was supposed to be living in a more enlightened society… of course we did re-elect W. which doesn’t really say much for us. Between this and all the book banning going on in high schools around the country I don’t hold out much hope for this thing in our constitution called the first amendment. According to our Bill of Rights: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances. No laws huh… seems to me that people are trying to find ways around that. I have some grievances!

1. People are trying to tell me what I should be listening to and how I should be listening to it. I sort of like listening to Howard Stern, and because I do, I’m considered indecent and immoral. People who don’t like what he has to say are trying to stop me from listening to him instead of turning the dial to another station. If they don’t want their children to listen to Howard Stern or someone else, then they should be monitoring what their children are listening to, not what I’m listening to.
2. If one thing is allowed to be monitored and censored, who’s to say that they won’t move on to other things? If they move to satellite and cable tv, why don’t they go to movies and books? Thank goodness we have big brother watching out for us! Ray Bradbury and George Orwell would be rolling over in their graves (well Ray Bradbury would be if he was dead but he’s not so he should be writing another apocalyptic book about a scary futuristic world) if they saw what was happening. In fact I think that we all should be rolling, but not rolling over and playing dead as it seems that we are.
3. We should not be burning books, and telling teenagers that we don’t think that they can handle reading certain books because of the langauge, sex or violence. Parents are deluding themselves if they think that their teenagers are unaware of crude language, sex or violence. Look at what’s going on around them! Millions of people in Africa are dying of AIDS. We are at war with Iraq that will not end. “Good” christian people are spouting hateful words against gays and other minorities. We do not need to hide our teenagers from this. We need to educate ourselves and our kids. I want to scream at these parents that think that they are going to protect their innocent little children from the evils of the world. What happens when they go to college? Are their parents going to sleep in the dorm room with them? Are they going to move into their 30 year-old son’s new house?
I’m getting tired and depressed and I’m starting to ramble. I better go to sleep.

I need to make a horrible confession… at least it seems horrible for a children’s librarian to admit this. I HATE the Harry Potter books. I finally started the Prisoner of Azkaban. I’m listening to the cds in my car, but I just can’t get through it. I turn it on and listen for about five minutes before I have to turn it off again. Harry Potter is such an annoying boy. I actually think he might be the most annoying character in the whole book. There is just something about him that makes me cringe.

More about my hatred of this “adorable” little boy later.