Cathy the Librarian

FHEW! I thought this message had been deleted. Luckily it was not so.

In a little less than a month life will be changing drastically, and hopefully for the better for all of us. Its so amazing all these things that you plan on doing, all the things you plan on accomplishing and then suddenly months have gone by and you wonder where they went… well I guess I know where they went. They went into a new job, helping plan a state-wide conference, being pregnant, getting stuck in the Facebook monstrosity and having a four-year-old that, for some reason, wants to spend time with and do things with mommy. Jeepers.

The whole pregnancy has been going really well. Even less trouble than I had with Jack. No swelling, no low fluid levels, she’s very active, healthy heart (we had a special heart ultrasound done due to family issues) and the twenty week ultrasound didn’t show anything that we should be scared of… Its been a pretty awesome pregnancy. I’ve been tired, having to pee a lot and wake up a lot at night, but that’s to be expected. Its fascinating watching her move around in there, and while that’s one of the more annoying things this pregnancy, I’m also going to miss it. Its so amazing to think that there’s this living thing growing inside me and moving around to get comfortable… without any luck I’m guessing because she moves ALL THE TIME.

Its been so hard though because while on the one hand, this pregnancy has been going really well, on the other hand, after two miscarriages I just want to be done and holding a healthy baby girl. I can’t bear to have something be wrong. I can’t imagine how women do it. Miscarriage after miscarriage. Seeing other women who are pregnant or have little healthy babies. Its so agonizing.

I’ve been lucky though. In my new job the women are so wonderful and they always seem to have an eye on me, making sure that I’m okay. That really means the world to me, because I was so afraid to leave my previous job for exactly that reason. I worked in a job that was so much more. It was also a family where they looked out for each other. Luckily, I have that here too.

Unfortunately, I have to work up until the contractions. I only have 24 days of vacation I can use, so I need to make them all count. Its a pain, but its so worth it. I want to be able to spend as much time as I can with her the first few weeks. They change and grow so much that all the beautiful little baby stuff disappears quickly… not that I don’t love the four year old boy stuff too.

That’s going to be another big thing to get used to too. Jack is getting so independent. He’s quite articulate, he’s potty trained, he sleeps through the night, he can play by himself. She’s going to be so dependent on us. Its going to be like starting from scratch.

Uh oh. So much for Jack sleeping through the night. He just woke up. Time to go and cuddle my little guy.

This entry was posted on Monday, April 13th, 2009 at 11:13 pm and is filed under General Chatter, Health, or not so healthy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.